Rejection sensitivity is tough. Often, I am personally pretty sensitive to it and sometimes it can really shake my confidence.

Whether it's in promoting yourself for a new project or promotion, forming new friendships, or entering romantic relationships, the fear of rejection can hold you back; can stop you from trying. But what if you could turn rejection into a tool for growth? Here are my best tips that I often come back to if the experience or even the thought of rejection gets too much.

Embrace a Growth Mindset

Have you ever thought of rejection as an opportunity? It doesn't sound logical, but if you think back over previous rejections, how many better opportunities have come after that you wouldn't have been available for had you succeeded with the first one?

Successful people don’t see rejection as failure; they see it as a stepping stone to success. By adopting a growth mindset, you can view each rejection as a chance to learn, grow, and improve on your way to not just yes, but the right yes.

Train Your Brain with Affirmations

Raise your hand if you ever feel like rejection is a blow to your self-worth? It doesn’t have to be, and often the rejection is not about you but the other person's needs.

By repeating positive affirmations, you can train your brain to see rejection differently. Try telling yourself: "I am worthy of love and acceptance," or "Rejection is just another step towards my success." The more you say it, the more you'll believe it.

Separate Rejection from Self-Worth

Is rejection really about you? Often, it’s not. It’s about whether what you’re offering fits someone else's needs at that moment. Just like offering chocolate to someone who doesn’t like sweets, it’s not about you or the chocolate. It’s just not the right fit at the right time. Remember, rejection is not a reflection of your value.

Albert Einstein once said “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. I believe this fits just as well for rejection. It can start to feel like something is wrong with you if you are rejected frequently, but perhaps you're a fish trying to help a monkey, but you can't climb the tree. You don't have the right skills the monkey needs. But if you were trying to help another fish with something then you'd be more than qualified. 

Focus on Effort, Not Outcomes

Why stress about the outcome when you can celebrate the effort? Every step you take is progress, whether or not it leads to immediate success. By focusing on what you’re doing rather than the result, you can build resilience and stay motivated. After all, isn’t progress what really matters? Putting in effort means you're learning, either learning new skills, learning resilience, building your comfort zone, learning what doesn't work so that you can put effort into what does and will get you closer to that yes.

Reframe Rejection as Feedback

Could rejection be the best feedback you’ll ever get? Instead of seeing it as a personal attack, view it as valuable information. What can you learn from it? How can you improve? By treating rejection as feedback, you can refine your approach and come back stronger.

Visualize Success and Failure

What if you could see yourself succeeding despite rejection? Visualizing success can boost your confidence and your motivation to keep going, because the potential success will be so much rewarding than the potential failure could hurt. But don’t stop there! Also imagine what happens if you fail: the world won’t end, will it? You’ll simply move on to the next opportunity. Often we imagine we're going to feel terrible after being rejected for something we really want. But when it happens, well... your life didn't change. It didn't get worse, it just didn't potentially get better.

By facing both possibilities, you can reduce the fear of rejection and keep pushing forward.

Face Your Fears

What if the best way to overcome rejection sensitivity is to face it head-on? Don't freak out on me, it can be done in a relatively painless way.

Start with small challenges and gradually expose yourself to bigger risks. Start with opening yourself up to rejection for little things, inconsequential things, where it doesn't overly matter to you if you are rejected, or you feel like you don't have a hope of success so it's not like you got your hopes up. Once you become more comfortable with frequent, low-impact rejections it might not be so scary to put yourself out there for the opportunities that are more meaningful to you. And just maybe, some of these not-in-a-million-years-chance-of-success opportunities you went for might not result in a rejection. It could end up as something incredible.

The more you show up, put yourself out there and stare potential rejection in its ugly face, the less it will scare you. Before you know it, rejection will be just another part of the journey, not a roadblock.

Build a Support System

Finally, who’s in your corner? Who's got your back? Surround yourself with supportive people who can encourage you, provide feedback, and help you stay resilient. If you're a fish, be around more fish who understand your worth, unlike those monkeys with weird expectations of you.

Whether it's friends, family, or like-minded individuals, a strong support system can make all the difference when facing rejection.

Building resilience to rejection takes time, patience, and practice. But by embracing a growth mindset, focusing on effort, reframing rejection, practicing deliberate experiences of rejection to help desensitize you to it, and building a strong support system, you can transform the way you handle rejection. Isn’t it time you took control of your journey and turned rejection into your greatest asset? You've got this.