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Understanding Loneliness: Types, Experiences, and Strategies for Connection

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Loneliness is a universal human experience that can affect individuals of all ages and backgrounds at different times of their lives. It can be situational and brief, such time periods when loved ones are all prioritizing other aspects of their lives, or when moving somewhere new before establishing a local support network, or can be experienced longer-term due to lifestyle or relationship changes.

Being surrounded by others doesn't guarantee feelings of connection, we can feel terribly alone even in a room full of people. I've experienced this, have you?

Let's explore the different types of people's experiences of loneliness, delve into various forms of loneliness, such as missing a kindred spirit, examine who is most likely to experience loneliness, and provide practical tips to help alleviate feelings of loneliness.

Types of People's Experiences of Loneliness:

Socially Isolated Individuals:

Those who lack social connections and feel disconnected from others in their daily lives can often feel lonely. It can happen to anyone and does happen to many of us as we get older. Relationships change, friendships fade away as interests, values and priorities change; the ties that bonded you such as seeing each other constantly at work or school are disrupted and it's hard to maintain when not thrown together daily.

Loved ones move away or become preoccupied with their own work or family or other relationships. You might move to a new town, state or country where you don't know anyone. Even the biggest social butterfly with a variety of friendships can find themselves isolated and lonely due to life changes.

Empty Nesters:

Parents can experience a sense of loneliness and loss when their children leave home as a central part of their lives for decades is now missing. The house feels emptier, the everyday companionship gone. Their children may be busier, living their own lives now, and empty nesters can find themselves with more time on their hands that they don't know how to fill.

Singles:

Individuals who may desire a romantic partner or a deeper sense of companionship can feel lonely, comparing where their life lacks companionship to happy couples spending their ordinary daily lives together.

Some singles can acutely feel the reality that they are not a number one priority in the lives of their loved ones, that other people such as partners and children are always more important.

Elderly Population:

Seniors who may face social isolation due to factors such as retirement, mobility limitations, or loss of loved ones. Slowly, if we are lucky enough to age, everyone we grew up with or knew pass away and social gatherings begin to change from weddings and birthdays to coming together more often at funerals, less and less in attendance every time.

Highly Independent Individuals:

People who value their autonomy but may struggle with finding a balance between solitude and meaningful social connections can feel lonely at times. Because they are competent and don't need someone, they may struggle to know how to ensure loved ones feel valued, needed and that they fit into their lives.

As you can see, there is not one type of person who is more likely to experience loneliness than others and no one is immune from it. You may think it won't happen to you, you are surrounded by people you care about, how could you possibly get lonely, but circumstances can and will change over your lifetime. Besides, some of the loneliest people are surrounded by others.

Different Types of Loneliness:

Social Loneliness:

The classic, what everyone thinks of when thinking about what a definition of loneliness might be, is experiencing a deficiency in the quantity and quality of social relationships can lead to a sense of isolation.

Emotional Loneliness:

This refers to feeling a lack of close emotional connections and longing for deeper intimacy and understanding. Some people loathe how frivolous small talk can feel and surface level relationships such as those with colleagues and desire relationships with others where they open up and share motivations, desires and vulnerabilities.

Existential Loneliness:

Feeling disconnected and isolated in one's beliefs, values, or life purpose, leading to a sense of meaninglessness. They might feel like their lifestyle doesn't match their values.

When I was younger, I took a job as an assistant manager in retail, and when the manager position became available I applied for and got it.

One day, unhappy in my life, after the frustration and stress of being a store manager hit me, I wondered why I had even applied? Why was I climbing the corporate ladder when it wasn't even remotely related to my aspirations and goals for my life? At the time, it seemed like what you were supposed to do. Sure, for some people, but it wasn't right for me.

Situational Loneliness:

Temporary feelings of loneliness due to specific life circumstances, such as moving to a new city or going through a breakup and losing access to your support network.

I know a woman who lives states away from her family and, as stress was mounting and compiling due to some awful situations, she took a week off work to fly and visit her family simply to get a hug from her parents.

Collective Loneliness:

The sense of disconnection and isolation experienced by a group or community, often arising from shared struggles or experiences, like so many of us are experiencing now. It's too expensive to go out these days and spend money on social activities, so we're spending more time, alone at home where it's cheaper. Team that with a collective fatigue a lot of us are enjoying, it's just easier, cheaper - but lonelier - to lie on the couch, you know?

Who Gets Lonely and the Biggest Demographic of Lonely People:

Loneliness can impact anyone, regardless of age, gender, or socioeconomic status. The wealthiest, most famous, people on the planet can be some of the loneliest: not many can relate to their lives, and some can't engage with the outside world because of being watched or interrupted, or have their guard up as they can't trust others intentions toward them.

However, research suggests that certain groups may be more susceptible to loneliness, including:

Older adults, especially those who are widowed or living alone.
Adolescents and young adults, who may experience social and academic transitions.
Individuals with limited social support networks, such as migrants, refugees, or those with physical or mental health challenges.
Technology-dependent individuals who rely heavily on virtual connections, but lack face-to-face interactions.

How to Feel Less Lonely:

There are things we can do to help ourselves feel less lonely. Even if the situation doesn't change significantly, how you feel about it can.

Cultivate Meaningful Connections:

Seek out opportunities to engage in activities and communities aligned with your interests and values. Like The Happery!

Strengthen Existing Relationships:

Invest time and effort in nurturing and deepening connections with friends, family, or colleagues. It can be hard to know where to start. There are many products available these days like conversation card sets for conversations between couples, friends, family and colleagues to help open deeper conversations and get to know others - as well as yourself - better, in a more meaningful way than before. Here are some conversation card packs that might help you deepen your relationships.

Embrace Technology Mindfully:

Utilize digital platforms to connect with others, but be mindful of the potential for isolation and aim to also initiate offline interactions.

Seek Professional Support:

If feelings of loneliness persist or become overwhelming, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor for guidance and support <3

My Story Out of Loneliness When Moving to a New Area

Personally, moving to a new area where I knew no one, I found it a lot harder to meet new people and make local friends than I thought it would be. It took a long time! I have several close friends now, who I cherish, and I met them all at the local dog park.

We had a shared interest - a love of dogs - and had a place we could meet regularly that was a part of our regular routine. And now we enjoy each others company outside of the dog park - sometimes with and sometimes without the dogs as well.

How are you doing currently? Are you feeling lonely? Which type do you think you're experiencing? What do you think you can do to develop some strong connections with others? I'd love to see your story in the comments.