Sometimes it's not easy to look on the bright side, to have an optimistic outlook when things are going wrong everywhere you look. An optimist, when faced with a problem, tends to find the upside to the situation and starts figuring out ways to solve that problem, or ways to turn it around. A pessimist, however, immediately throws up his hands, and yells, “That’s it; it’s all over. I can’t handle this anymore.” Or he will distance himself from the problem, pretending it doesn’t matter. This is denial, and it never works.

According to the world’s foremost expert on optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman, everyone is born optimistic. And yet, 95% of grownups are pessimists, not optimists. What goes wrong? Some people see the glass as half empty. Others see it as half full. But is it really as simple as that?

Is it possible to be both an optimist and a pessimist?

When you think about it, most people tend to be an optimist sometimes and a pessimist other times. Ironically, a lot of times things turn out according to how we feel about the situation. If a person feels like something will go well or feels optimistic about it, it usually seems to go well. The same is true of the reverse. When someone feels like something will go badly, it tends to do just that.

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Winston Churchill

Pessimistic thinking

An indication that you are dealing with a pessimist is in a simple phrase they will use in stressful situations – “I can’t”. The pessimist is helpless, powerless and it shows in his response. The optimist responds with – “I won’t”. The optimist is making a conscious choice, not just reacting.

An optimist prefers to think more positively. They focus on what they really want, not what might happen to them.

Think about the following statements:

• Optimists achieve their goals because they never give up
• Optimists attract success naturally
• Optimists are happier, healthier and more energetic than pessimists
• Optimists are easier to be around, inspiring people around to be positive
• Optimists live longer and suffer from fewer and less severe diseases

Besides the above, optimists lead higher quality of life.
These are all probably true just by the fact that optimists’ positive thinking makes challenging situations “not that bad” after all.

When everyone got sick before my birthday

I had a big milestone birthday recently, and I don't usually do anything much to celebrate, but I wanted to do something this time to make it special. I bought decorations, bought the food, even splurged on hiring a cleaner to help me get the house spic and span before they arrived.

All but two guests came down ill on the weekend of my birthday and I had to cancel the event. I was disappointed - of course I was! How could I not? And what am I going to do with the freezer full of finger food?

But I didn't allow disappointment to take me over, because you know what? I'm not sick. Being sick, whatever you have, is such an awful experience. My loved ones are going through it right now, whereas I'm fine. My optimistic outlook, reframing my disappointment, helped me bounce back and support my loved ones, instead.

True optimism is not sitting back, thinking positive thoughts, and hoping everything will turn out all right. It’s how you see the world, positively rather than negatively. You face each situation, each problem, and each occasion with a positive attitude; and you always look forward to the “benefits” you will derive from it. You have a choice.

Change your thoughts and change your world

Norman Vincent Peale

What it comes down to is that your attitude is a conscious choice. If you choose pessimism, you’re choosing to see the down side of every situation, judge people unfairly, and live unhappily the rest of your life. What an oppressive existence!

Optimism is empowering

On the other hand, if you choose optimism, you’re empowering yourself to see the positive side of each challenge, seeing the good in people, helping them to see the good in life too.

Taking action to further improve your own life, and living happily with friends and family who care about you. Attracting all good to yourself.

Choosing to be more optimistic and positive does not mean you won’t encounter difficult times, trauma, loss and many challenges. What it does mean is that you will have more power on your side to help you through those tough times.

You’ll bounce back faster and make better choices, rather than letting life just wash over you.

You’ll learn to be proactive, instead of reactive.

If you’re not naturally optimistic and positive, don’t worry

If you’re not naturally optimistic and positive, don’t worry. You can learn how to use your thoughts to change your attitude and emotions. It won’t be easy.

Some days will be very challenging, but you can do it. Improving your optimism rates is one of the most important actions you can take to improve your life. It doesn’t come automatically, though.

It takes effort. It takes deliberate, conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings. And then acting on that awareness.

Building the habit of an optimistic outlook

Each time you think a negative thought, stop right there and turn it around to find the positive aspect of the situation. Do this each time and build on it. It will become a habit to be positive and upbeat about your life.

Here’s one starting point:

Practice your ‘positive thinking’ and your ‘positive feeling’. Give yourself permission to think new thoughts and feel new feelings.

So I would say to you: Be optimistic! Expect the best out of life, not the worst. Counter pessimistic thoughts that come into your consciousness with more optimistic alternatives. It can be difficult to start, but the more you practice, the more easily it comes to start expecting good outcomes, not disappointing ones.

You can be as optimistic as you want that you will attract wealth, for that new car or new house. The productive action you take helps to push things to that end, and you will get there.

What are your thoughts? Have you noticed a difference in your quality of life and resilience against the shitty parts of life when you’ve had an optimistic mindset? It can take effort to contradict the negative automatic thoughts when you’re in pessimist phase, but it’s effort worth making for your own happiness.